today

The day just got worse when we were on the bus. It started to rain heavily and i felt my faltering voice being covered by the deafening sound of large rain drops beating incessantly on the bus's rooftop. I didn't know what to feel, too many things going on, too many things i have been guessing all along, too many things i never knew. Now that i knew, I felt like i wanted to breakdown and cry, then hide in a hole.

But no, i'm not that delicate.
I looked around myself and saw my friends and family who supported me all the way.
All of them who loved me for who i am, even when i fail, again and again to be a much better person. They offer listening ears, shoulders to cry on.. Anything i needed :)

Besides, daddy's message gave me strength today. Simple and sweet. Knowing he is out there helping people just makes me so proud.

Then, i have friends who would just listen as i talk about anything, anytime, anywhere.

Many times, i don't tell them what i have been going through just so that they don't have to worry. I have came to realize that i can, i really can go through things myself. It's just a matter of choice. I have learnt that, i have to stand on my own feet.

And no, i'm not alone. I have Someone. He goes through everything with me and He made me so much braver and tougher than before.

Because of all of them, I cannot breakdown.
Because of all of them, I'm feeling so much better now.
I know, they are the most afraid to see me sad and quiet. I guess, i don't want any of them to worry. And they don't have to, because I'll be fine.

I really want to learn to face problems on my own, not just resolving by tearing or ranting, but taking up the responsibility and proving that i can be independent.

From now on, it's just me and Him, against all the odds :)

Oh Lord, thank you :)

Oh did i mention that the sky cleared, birds chirped and sunlight shone through the window after i woke up from my terrible nightmare?

The day will get better. :)
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