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Monday, August 28, 2017

Life transition

I am 4 days from going back to the UK, even as I have been waking up late and sleeping late, beginning to adjust to the UK time zone, my mind is slightly confused as to the life I am going to embrace in a week's time.

After 5 years in university, I have finally graduated as a dentist and I can finally call myself a working adult now. It has been great the past 5 years, somehow, 5 years ago felt longer than that and I cannot seem to identify with the 19-year-old girl that I was. I came across a video that I recorded for a friend's birthday 5 years ago and I cringed at the accent (which sounded American but a really "bimbotic" one, you get the picture), the look I had on my face, the things I was saying and the words I was using.

Rewind by 5 years, I used to think that I was very mature for my age, partly because that was what people told me and because I was constantly asked for relationship or life advice that I actually had no experience of. Now, looking at the 19-year-old's fresh into university, I cannot help it but feel old and outdated. I am reminded of how far I have come and how much I have changed but I am glad that my faith has only grown over time even as God proved his existence in my good and bad times.

In truth, my life on my own is only starting now. As much as advice is important in making wise decisions, I have learnt that it is equally important to make a decision that you are convicted of so that you are not doing it for someone else's peace. We do make many important decisions in our twenties regarding out lives, and that include decisions we make about our faith, careers, finances and relationships.

We may not always get the support we want, but I believe that in every decision to put God first, you cannot go wrong. Because when you choose to put God first, you are ultimately not living for your own pleasure or selfishness. With this, I am only thankful that I get to live a life bigger than my own.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Seasons change

I've been thinking a lot of about change and transition even as people around me have been going through different seasons. I went through a big change myself in the past 3 months, and looking back, those 3 months felt more like a long year! Through the challenges and disappointments, I can only say that I've learnt a few things the hard way but I am also thankful for being able to look back and be proud of certain decisions that I'd made through that time. SO here are a few things I want to share!

1. Do not expect a spiritual or emotional change if you are NOT willing to make physical changes that you have power or control over. For example, if you desire to be more positive, do not expect to be more positive by being surrounded by negative people day in day out. 

2. Do not expect from people. You might be someone who is very caring and sensitive, however do not expect other people to be the same as you or to understand how you feel. People can help and their company is great, but do not expect your healing to come from being with people. 

3. Think forward. Change is difficult because, often times, we do not like to let go of people, habits, mindsets or even pride. However, seasons come and go, in winter the leaves die off and the trees become bare, you might feel like a wavering tree in the winter but that's not you, it is just your season. Know that winter comes to spring eventually!

4. Forgive even if you cannot forget, just choose not to remember. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone is selfish. Don't be too disappointed by people because you are honestly no different even if you might feel so. If the friendship is too tiring for you, let go of it and that is okay. However, always forgive, always love, even if you will never want to live with the person or go on a holiday with them. 

5. Hold on to things that you know. Honestly, I do not know how things will turn out most of the time. Many times I hope that I could just say to a friend that he/she will definitely be okay and I am 100% sure. But the fact that I am not God doesn't allow me to say that. All I can say is, hold on to the things you know! I know that I can trust God, no matter what the outcome is, and I know that no matter what happens, He still loves me. And sometimes, that's enough for us to go on, knowing that our eternities are in His hands. 

6. Anything good is really not that great, anything bad is really not that bad. As long we are still breathing, there's always something we could do with the challenges in our lives. If there's nothing you can do except to pray, be thankful for it! Submitting your worries and problems to God is the best thing we can do.

7. Know that God's best is not your best. As much as you have great desires since forever, know that you are NOT God. Loving Jesus is not about trying to be the most successful person in the world's perspective. Of course we all want to excel in our studies, have great relationships and achieve all our dreams. However, God is more interested in humbling you and moulding you. Honestly, everything else fades away in the end. 

I know that all these things are easier said than done. Nevertheless, it is not impossible, and little steps of making simple decisions each day go a very long way. I understand how difficult it could be to move on to different seasons and to let go of the past, but you can't move on to the next chapter if you keep re-reading the last one. 

Not only so, but we glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. 

Romans 5:3-5

Saturday, December 12, 2015

I'm back

It's 2:12am in the morning.

I just came back from a Christmas dinner around 1:00am, feeling absolutely knackered. While I was showering, I decided to start writing again and was determined to actually do it. I would probably be so bad at writing since I have not done so for ages but I am determined.. so determined that I edited my blog layout after 2 long years while I am trying my best to keep my eyes open.

I do seem very enthusiastic at very strange hours. Let's hope my next post is not going to be after 2 years.

Good night.